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Google Maps Reviews of Entire Continents Are Bizarre and Hilarious

Google Maps Reviews of Entire Continents Are Bizarre and Hilarious

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According to one reviewer, the Taklamakan Desert means Asia gets some serious points—on account of its name alone.
A one-star review of North America, for example, points out the lack of originality in its name.

Perhaps more than any other innovation-in-your-pocket, Google Maps has changed the way people travel. As long as you’re connected to the Internet (and, with a little forethought, even if you aren’t) you can’t get lost anywhere, and loads of people use the review feature to find bars, restaurants, or shops to explore. But what happens when you zoom out—like waaay out? Well, the feature still works, even on the continental level. That’s right, you can review and rate all 17.2 million square miles of Asia, if you please. And plenty of people have. Here are some of the most entertaining reviews of all seven continents.

ASIA (558 reviews)

Raunak S. loves how a certain stretch of sand rolls off the tongue, but still has something to complain about:

Has the best named desert of all time: Taklamakan. Loses two stars due to a severe lack of penguins but gains one back due to widespread pandas. (4 stars)

Seán Q. just didn’t give himself enough time to soak it all in:

It was pretty neat but way bigger than I expected. I didn’t have time to see it all in my stop-over flight. Also a bit too spicy, but not bad. (3 stars)

Quinn B. might not be ready to give a retrospective review, but he sure is excited:

So stoked to go Asia, sounds pretty lit. (5 stars)
[Ed. Note: We can confirm that it is, indeed, pretty lit.]

EUROPE (1,038 reviews)

Jacob K. sounds like a non-smoker who loves hot dogs:

It was too far away from where I live and the people there didn’t speak English. Well they did, but not all the time. Also the food was good but there weren’t any hot dogs. Only go if you’re prepared to spend a lot of money and smell like smoke. (2 stars)

An almost perfect review from Jeremy W., if not for the cheese:

Fantastic continent, offering much diversity, history, and culture. Cradle of modern civilization, lose yourself in a whirl of rhapsody and romance. Loses a star as the man at the car hire was rude, and the cheese smelly. (4 stars)

AFRICA (860 reviews)

Josie M. thinks it depends on how you feel about lions:

I tried Africa once. Lots of lions, very romantic. Great if you’re a lion person. I am not. (4 stars)

Nicholas C. knows a little history and really gives perspective:

Larger than expected. Took several million years just to be able to evolve to a bi-pedal species and then be able walk out of the place. It still is at least a top seven continent. (4 stars)

And Wura O. is surprisingly earnest:

Africa is a place full of beauty, exuberance, and culture. Every country has its differences, but still comes together to make one gigantic and wonderful masterpiece. (5 stars)

NORTH AMERICA (406 reviews)

Jon T. just wants more creativity in naming:

North America, Central America, South America, the United States of America…surely given this level of creativity it can’t be a very interesting place to visit? Stay far away. (1 star)

Jonathan D. is easy to impress:

The northest of the Americas. And in my opinion, the perfect amount of North. I love the animals, most of the people, and how north it gets. It goes almost all the way up!!!!! (5 stars)

David C. has one major gripe:

A great continent that would merit five stars if only the inhabitants played cricket. (1 star)

SOUTH AMERICA (304 reviews)

Cydnee R. is so scarred by an experience in the Amazon that she’s having trouble putting her thoughts into a complete sentence:

Green anaconda (1 star)

Great analysis, Nicholas C.:

I would compare it to North America, but just if North America was south of the equator. It’s in my top seven continents for sure. (3 stars)

OCEANIA (97 reviews)

Scarlett S. concisely noted that it’s home to many an animal that can kill you:

Quite bitey. (1 star)

Dylan G. had his hopes dashed:

I found no strange lands that made me nervous, took me in, and made me breakfast. (4 stars)

ANTARCTICA (Unreviewable)

Yup. Despite the myriad options for getting to and around the South Pole these days and all that room for activities (ski trip, anyone?), for some reason an option for reviewing doesn’t seem to exist here. What gives, Google? For good measure though, here’s a review of the Southern Ocean that encircles the continent, courtesy of one Harvey W.:

[“Source-cntraveler”]